So what's this?
Very simple, a very simple diary blog. I’m starting it today. This is the first entry and therefore includes this introduction.
Why now?
I’ve been wanting to write a blog or other pages with tutorials, recommendations, opinions and so on about stuff I like.
The problem is I’m not a very good writer, which is fine in itself; not a problem, but instead my perfectionism. For any step I take, the more I want to read a book about whatever, fixing my thousand mistakes, and adjust the environment to my liking.
Today I’m giving up such unattainable desires.
Although, that’s not the true reason as to why this entry came to be right here, right now. It was a girl I love. She decided to start a blog and told me that, perhaps I should too; her first entry was extremely heartwarming, despite lacking my usual thousand thousand hours of meticulous planning before doing anything, inspired me to do the same.
Who are you?
Doesn’t really matter I guess?
Entry 0: Prelude
It’s been quite some time since I enrolled as a physics undergrad, and it’s been quite some time since a huge chain of disasters began to cultivate. They all grew slowly and at the same time, and out of my control. I had just went through the best semester in my life, for reasons that I still don’t truly understand, I ended up working in some lab.
In there, I met some really nice people, every day we would have to work together on a few variety of projects. There was no space to judge others or hold rivalries, quite literally. I learnt how to manage my projects and communication with others effectively. Then it all ended. This had made me over-confident, then tragedy struck and had to face it.
Mid-semester, everything crumbled. I won’t give details of everything that happened to me in a few days, but it truly was on every aspect of my life; and I’m talking decently heavy stuff. Depression worsened extremely, and some sequels of such events still remain to this day. Since then, most things in my life have been on a permanent downhill trend.
But here we are today, not amazingly well, but the trend has started to change. Now, everything I abandoned back then, I must face. Escaping won’t make your problems disappear.
Entry 1:
I must confess that for the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to optimize my surroundings “to perfection” , perhaps this all has been nothing but a way to feel productive while technically procrastinating… at least most of it. But it’s fine, doing somethings is better than not doing anything for your brain and heart.
Just a few days ago, I came to be near “completing” every task I set for myself in order to reach that super-optimized setup of my dreams. I’ve been on a total mental block and don’t know how to proceed. There’s no one to blame but myself, some things that happened to be ‘crucial’ for the plan just couldn’t be done, apparently my mind now has to process it all again…
Oh right, you don’t even know what I’m aiming for here. Well, it’s just a job, and I mean a stable one. Being realistic (or perhaps the opposite), it has to be online and make use of my skills. There’s no intent to feel superior, really smart or whatever, but to get a few bucks which mean a lot in here. Besides, it would not only be a waste of my skills but also a straight up loss working 12 hours a day for a minimum wage job in here. Sorry, even I’m getting stressed from so much rambling about jobs, personal tragedies or whatever.
Random reviews
In other news, movies and music are cool. I consoomed these things: - Kubrick’s The Shining - Kubrick’s Lolita - Kanye West The Life of Pablo
- First of all, listen to Drukqs by Aphex Twin, it’s an absolute masterpiece and his true magnum oppus, although Aphex Twin has so much of everything.
- The Shining is definitely Kubrick’s worst movie, it’s not really his fault. Everything about it is undoubtedly amazing, an insane amazing feat; might even say perfect in itself, and needs nothing else. Sadly, it has to follow a script - it’s undeniably good but extremely weak compared to everything else, tries to compensate with many sound effects, music, and so on, dragging them all down. Could work as a screensaver with exaggerate quality.
- Lolita (1961) is pretty good, it’s meant to be what it is, knows where it wants to go and say and does it amazingly well, the only bad thing about it was censorship which funny enough, such may turn out to be a positive point. Such slight changes make the plot acquires a different, really interesting meaning from the original novel, unintenionally. It's basically up to you to fill the gaps with imagination. Some audiences agree that some scenes played by Peter Sellers seem quite off the general tone of the movie, I personally enjoyed them and don't think they're wrong at all, he's playing a character that is meant to be off; the stereotype of an artist of the time and does extremely well.
- The Life of Pablo, an absolute masterpiece of an album, but not a great magnum opus. All songs keep an extremely chaotic, filthy, unpolished sound. Yet, the thriving minimalism and structural consistency throughout the album completely wipes out all of those 'issues' and seems to have allowed for each individual sound to be perfected, which works pretty well considering all sounds are extremely noticeable at any given point in every song. Allows for popular artists to actually show off their talent, which is very rare.
I still don't understand what Ye's lyrics though, is it meant to be some sort of powerful message against... who or what? Honestly, even if they were, the message gets instantly dilluted by the other songs with ridiculous, nonsensical, vulgar lyrics. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against swear words in music, the problem is how they're exhalted and highlighted, like in MBDTF. This one album does amazingly well in that aspect, so the genius remains.
I don't get Katseye, am I meant to focus on the music, the dances, clothes or what?